Local expat communities help trailing spouses adjust to their new lifestyles

For women who’ve put their own careers on hold to accompany their husbands on relocation to an unfamiliar country, becoming a trailing spouse can be an unwelcome lifestyle change.

Trailing spouses are the glue which holds together the relocation itself as well as the re-establishment of a home for the breadwinner and often their children as well. For those who’ve put their own careers on hold for the sake of their husbands’ advancement, it can be a time of frustration and even loneliness due to a lack of the local language and previous support from family and friends. Being cut off from the familiarity of home and extended family can cause depression and even threaten relationships, but there’s help out there from legions of females who’ve been in the same situation.

The golden rule for trailing spouses is to give themselves enough time to adjust to the difference and diversity of the new location as well as finding their feet by joining the expat community and attending events and help forums. Most expatriate communities host clubs, with their members happy to help with practical issues as well as befriending trailing spouses who’re missing their friends and extended family back in the home country. Once the kids are set up at school and local shops, malls and markets have been discovered, many expat women volunteer, start to study again or even start their own businesses.

Meetup groups are common in the expat world and are good for finding new friends with similar interests, visiting local landmarks and trying out new restaurants as part of a ladies’ lunch group. They’re a good start for establishing new arrivals’ places in the community, and local social media groups and blogs cover everything from finding a good house helper or child minder to developing a social scene. Learning the local language within a group is another way to met new people, as is joining a local gym or sports centre.

Expat communities worldwide are known for their charity events and welcome new arrivals with organisational skills. A few even have theatre groups, and photography workshops are ever popular. It’s also likely the community in your new city has established a helpline or website covering everything new arrivals need to know about their unfamiliar surroundings, local facilities, recommended healthcare professionals, hospitals and much more. Trailing spouses often find the experience anything from scary through depressing to confusing, but established expat communities are there to help and befriend.