What to do when nowhere feels like home

Everyone who’s contemplating emigration will know there are times at first when they’ll wish they were back home, but getting used to a new and completely different culture can be the learning experience of a lifetime.

Seasoned expatriates are fully aware the first few months, or even the first several years, are full of ‘what if’, ‘why didn’t I’ and ‘oooops’ moments, but the expat dream survives and grows with each learning experience. Living, working or retiring overseas is a big challenge, but opening your mind and savouring each challenge, whether at work or in the local community, will help you get through the culture shocks of emigration.

First and foremost, there will be times when you feel incredibly lonely and unable to adjust to your new surroundings. Making new friends, especially in Asia, can be less than straightforward, which doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Starting with joining a local expat association might seem like a cop-out, but it does give you the chance to find out about your new life from those who’ve been living it for a while. Making friends with locals is may be more complicated due to language issues, but getting it right gives a feeling of being truly at home.

Stressing out when things don’t go quite as expected is a waste of time, as things are certain to occasionally go wrong wherever you’re living! Small, daily inconveniences are the norm, and taking them too seriously is a mistake the majority of new arrivals make more than once. Keeping cheerful is one answer, however difficult that may sound, as small problems can build up into a huge pile of discontent with your new life overseas.

The one thing to remember about emigrating is if you don’t like where you’ve settled, you can always try somewhere else. Not to be used as an excuse for starting an ‘if you don’t succeed, try again, again, again ‘ scenario, it’s still worth considering if you’ve accumulated too many negatives about your present location. This is especially relevant for expats who’ve chosen an Asian country and simply can’t get used to the cultural differences.

Don’t expect to feel at home for a good while, and possibly never, and don’t let this bother you. Adjusting to a new culture has to go deep, with many expats not quite getting it right but not letting it force them to get on the next plane out. Cross-cultural life can be fascinating, but needs time and effort as well as careful exploration of the cultural norms, beliefs and values in your new country. You’ll know you’ve got it right when you visit your home country and feel foreign!